268. What It’s Like to Be Self-Employed.

My first day as a self-employed gal was all I dreamed... until it wasn't.
My first day as a self-employed gal was all I dreamed… until it wasn’t.

Last Thursday marked my first day as self-employed person! I’ve dreamed about what this might feel like for a long time. Not that I was desperate for it or anything, but you know, after working full-time for over seven years, a girl’s gotta wonder!

What would I do? Oh man, the possibilities!

I had the most perfect day, ever.

I woke up at 6:30 and had coffee and breakfast with my guy.

I worked on my website until 9 am.

I then took Patsy, my sweet puppy, for a walk. We went to the Apple store and returned our wireless router (it was pretty crappy) and exchanged it for a more powerful one. They let dogs in the store, so it was especially fab.

Did I mention it was 70 degrees, sunny with fall colors exploding everywhere?!

Next, I brought Patsy home and went to daytime yoga.

Who goes to daytime yoga?! I do! At noon! It was neat!

Afterward, I didn’t even take a shower. I went right to Macy’s where I returned the three duplicate wedding gifts that had been just sitting in our guest bedroom, burning a hole in my brain/eyes.

Who has time to return stuff when they’re working full-time?!

Then, I went to JCrew and bought a puffy vest. I know I’m “technically not making any money,” but I’m sure my husband will never read this, so shhh!

My next move? I went to Crate & Barrel to pick up a gift card.

I was feeling pretty great about my accomplishments. Look at all of the things I just checked off my to-do list. Stuff that I’d been meaning to do for literally months!

And then exiting via Crate & Barrel’s revolving door, it hit me:

Oh my god, what if I’m lonely (#268!)?

EEEEEEEK!

Will every day be like this? Me, darting around from task to task, only hanging out with my dog? Social interactions limited to sales people and some guy heavy-breathing next to me in a hot yoga class?

I’ve never done this work-for-myself thing. I’ve always worked with others. Specifically, I’ve always worked with people I like. And for the past seven years, I’ve worked with Dusti, who has become more of a bestie/sister to me than a coworker.

Is this a mistake?

I still don’t think it is, but with big life changes, it’s not all upside. You have to take the good with the bad. Change is hard. That’s why we hardly ever do it unless it’s absolutely necessary.

This will not be the last time I second-guess my choice. But I’m prepared for it. For now anyway. Nothing happens overnight.

And as for loneliness?

Well, I guess that’s why God invented coffee meetings, lingering midweek lunches and happy hour.

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Comments (10)

  • Claudia Richman 3 years ago Reply

    I just wrote about my first year out on my own http://claudiarichman.com/blog/2014/10/10/year-one-lessons-learned – I know how you feel! And you’ve got the right answers – coffee meetings are key – as are yoga classes. You’ll do great and love it!

    molly mogren katt 3 years ago Reply

    Thanks for sharing! Great insight, too. 🙂

  • Phyllis 3 years ago Reply

    I’m not self-employed but I recently started working remotely full time… It’s still nice to have phone calls & Skype meetings but I DO notice that I’ve become overly friendly to sales people & my Starbucks barista lol

    molly mogren katt 3 years ago Reply

    Ha! I’m very chatty normally, so this could potentially be a big issue.

  • Shash 3 years ago Reply

    LOL, this sounds mein the early days of self employment. Don’t forget to work during that time. Running errands feels great but it doesn’t bring home the bacon.
    Best of luck to you; you already have the skills.

    molly mogren katt 3 years ago Reply

    Well good news for me: I pretty much checked off all the errands clogging my brain on day one! Now focused on proverbial and literal bacon.

  • Catherine 3 years ago Reply

    Glad to hear your first day went so well 🙂 Up until the loneliness I guess, but you’re totally right, there’s coffees and lunches and cocktails to help you deal with that!

  • Ashley 3 years ago Reply

    Totally connect with this. I have been self employed for about two years with many many highs and lows…the BEST days are like you describe. Up early, accomplish work, get mid day free time for you, definitely includes a glorious walk with the dog (a sanity saver, for sure), grocery shop with the retired….that’s a great day. But….there are days when I cannot WAIT for my boyfriend to come home. Then I know I need to plan more human meetings, or at least walk the dog more (in the afternoon when I get lonely, since it usually means I need a snack and some exercise/fresh air). Still, it’s pretty awesome to have NO commute and flexible time! Congrats on making the leap!

    molly mogren katt 3 years ago Reply

    Thank you! It really has been nice not to be confined to office hours and set locales. I love working from 6:30-9:30am, something that seems like the WORST if you have to first get ready and drive to an office.

  • Michelle 3 years ago Reply

    I love this post Molly. I want to hear what you have to say about going from a day job routine to NO ROUTINE AT ALL. That’s what’s getting me right now. It hit me after about two weeks, and I’ve been trying to recreate one…it’s weird.

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