All the Reasons I’ve Cried Since Having a Baby

All the Reasons I've Cried Since Having a Baby

Arlene Helen Katt was born on July 14, 2016.

One of the biggest things I remember a nurse telling me in the hospital was that I would be very swollen for the weeks after birth. She assured me my body would rid itself of the extra fluid by way of sweat, pee and maybe a few tears.

A few tears?!

I’ve never been much of a crier, but after this baby… wow. Commercials, opening credits to movies, just looking at my baby can be enough to start the waterworks. It’s a classic case of the baby blues. I started writing down all the reasons I’ve cried in the past six weeks. Some understandable, others downright ridiculous.

Without further ado, here’s all the reasons I’ve cried since having a baby.

* * *

Because my husband cried and exclaimed, “She’s so cute!” the moment he saw her.

Because my mother-in-law cried when we Skyped with her from the hospital.

Because I had an excruciating headache for six days post-birth and “just want to enjoy my baby!”

Because the nurse I had for the last two nights at the hospital sucked.

Because one of the other nurses I had was so encouraging and helpful.

Because when our friends and family held her, I was so proud.

Because I heard the new Wilco song. I don’t even know what it’s about! I just watched the video and started crying again! It’s just too much.

Because I watched Adventures in Babysitting and the opening credits killed me.

Because, many times, I’ve though that I love our baby “too much.”

Because when I watch my husband hold our baby, it melts my heart.

Because I watched this McDonald’s commercial:

Because a home care nurse in her 50s came to our house and said that she feels bad for all of us new moms because we’re unnecessarily bombarded with information and high expectations. I agreed.

Because of the Olympics.

Because of the news. Pretty much all of it aside from the weather. Why is the news so sad?

Because of this episode of the Longest Shortest Time podcast.

Because one day, our little girl will leave us and go to college.

Because I’m tired.

Because sometimes when I feed our baby, I am sure her mouth is full of razorblades.

Because I haven’t left the house all day.

Because I haven’t taken a shower since Monday and it’s Wednesday night.

Because the receptionist at our pediatrician’s office wasn’t helpful.

Because I want to give the baby a bottle and the lactation consultant told us not to.

Because I gave the baby a bottle even though the lactation consultant told us not to.

Because sometimes I have to use a nipple shield to breastfeed my baby, even though experts say you shouldn’t.

Because I was so relieved when a bunch of other moms– people I know who I think are great moms— said they, too, used a nipple shield. Some of them for many months!

PS This is a nipple shield.

Because the baby wasn’t gaining weight fast enough.

Because I had to take the baby to Children’s Hospital (she’s fine), saw a bunch of sick kids and thought about how fortunate we are to have a healthy baby.

Because, as a joke, I said I was going to make a  baby picture slideshow set to Amy Grant’s “Baby, Baby.” And then I listened to that song because I thought it’d be funny, but then I just cried.

Because a friend told me how her teenage daughter was being a brat, and then I thought of how my daughter will sometimes hate my guts.

Because I watched someone’s wedding video. I don’t even know them.

Because sometimes my dog seems so, so, sooo sad.

Because sometimes my dog seems to love the baby.

Because my friend told me she was pregnant.

Because I was so scared that I wasn’t going to be a good mom, or like being a mom, and I actually love it.

Because everyone said it’s different with your own kids and they were right.

Because I wrote this blog post.

Because I read this blog post to my husband and he cried, too.

* * *

Please feel free to share the craziest reason you’ve cried (baby related or not) in the comments.

I should also note here that there is a big difference between the baby blues and postpartum depression. If you think you may have the latter, there is so much help available. Please talk to someone asap. Read this now.

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Comments (13)

  • Paige 1 year ago Reply

    I cried rereading your blog post from the day before Arlene was born.

    https://heyeleanor.com/blog/2016/7/13/how-you-give-birth-really-doesnt-matter

    molly mogren katt 1 year ago Reply

    Aww! Me too. And now I am again!

  • Kelly 1 year ago Reply

    Awww hormones. Aren’t they the greatest? I cried at that stupid McDonald’s commercial too, and the Olympics. I’m 49 and have no babies. Pretty crazy. Although, to be fair, my "baby" was just about to leave for his senior year of college.

    molly mogren katt 1 year ago Reply

    Hormones are neat! I would cry if my baby was going to his or her last year of college. Or first year. Or any year of school, pretty much.

  • Lisa 1 year ago Reply

    I cried during Toy Story 3 because Andy is going away to college.

    molly mogren katt 1 year ago Reply

    Oh yes, for sure!

  • Jodi 1 year ago Reply

    Don’t even think about watching E.T.!

    molly mogren katt 1 year ago Reply

    Another one: don’t watch Annie! All the orphans!!! Waaaaah!

  • katie d. 1 year ago Reply

    YAY! I love that you had the "I love being a mom" moment. That made me cry!

    I cry at everything. I did before, but even more so after my children were born. I cried singing Ruby her first lullabies. I couldn’t BELIEVE I was cradling MY BABY, singing her songs that made her stop crying! What a fucking miracle! (Ruby’s favorites were Walkin’ After Midnight and Ruby Tuesday. I kept crying every time I sang her the Beatles’ "I Will" for a LONG TIME.)
    I cried reading Rosie Revere, Engineer, to her because it’s a GREAT book and I choke up every time I read the lines "Life might have its failures, but this was not it. The only true failure can come if you quit." Now Ruby has the book memorized and sometimes I make her "read" that part because I know I will cry. I hide under the guise of that it’s her turn to practice. 😉

  • Shelly R. 1 year ago Reply

    I’m brand spankin’ new here….but I cried just reading your post! I’m from Minnesota, too! My babies are 21 and 18. Last week, sent the oldest off to NYC for a year of adventure and fun despite her fears! And just today, sent the youngest off to rehab, despite his and all our fears. Scary stuff- Life- that is. I look SOooooo forward to pushing aside my fears and regaining my old adventurous self again through your honesty and encouragement. A wise mother once told me how beautiful life would become once I became a mother–she was so right. After my first, I cried just because the trees were so green and so beautiful. Relish in that beauty. And accept that perfection is not attainable.

  • Leah 1 year ago Reply

    I am 38 weeks, but I have had my fair share of funny crying moments. For one–my husband was watching a documentary about Steve Aoki and I cried that the young, carefree time of my life that made dance music festivals fun is over. My husband reminded me–I never even liked Steve Aoki or dance/trance/house music! Then I cried thinking that one day I hope to share a dance with my son on his wedding day–and I can barely type that without tearing up!

  • Malisa 1 year ago Reply

    I cried reading children’s books so many times in the first few months after birth with both of my babies! Those authors sure know how to play with new mom hormones!

  • Helen 1 year ago Reply

    I cried when I was first pregnant watching the movie Love, Actually with some friends. I was trying to keep the pregnancy a secret so just had to live with knowing they thought I was crazy.
    I cried when my son first started crawling and his knees developed rough skin from all the hard floors.

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