#139. Rock Out at Monster Jam.

Some people think you need to go to an opera or museum for cultural enrichment. Not I. If you want to learn a little something about the world around you, attend a demolition derby, the Minnesota State Fair and a few professional wrestling matches (my personal favorite). I’ve seen the Minnesota Opera perform Macbeth, and I can tell you one thing’s certain: it was not as fun as watching Horace the Psychopath wrestle Sheik Abdul Bashir. Not even close.

I love my hick sporting events & was excited to check out the Metrodome’s final Monster Jam (the stadium may now be demolished, but the memories are forever). Big trucks, loud pipes, camo galore, skinny guys with wispy mustaches… not exactly my normal crowd. I can admit to being the bobo I am. I mean, I regularly drive my Jetta to my local coffee shop (one that uses the pour-over brew method) on my way to Whole Foods to buy organic kale and kombucha. I am that person and I will not apologize!

But I digress. Josh and I ventured to the ‘Dome early to tour the pit– basically, you get to walk around the floor of the stadium and look at your favorite jacked trucks up close and personal. You can take photos and even meet your favorite drivers. I don’t have a favorite driver or monster truck, so I just took a photo with my favorite fiancé aka beyonce.

Love and dust is in the air!
Love and dust is in the air!

There was a two hour break between the pit situation and the actual event, so we met some friends for many beers. When we returned for the big rally, I was shocked to see so many kids. Tens of thousands of them. You mean monster truck rallies are family events? How had I not realized this before?! It seems so obvious in hindsight: basically a stadium-sized Hot Wheels experience. Of course there should be a million kids! Duh, what was I thinking? I am now kind of excited to one day have kids and bring them to a monster truck rally (with ear protection, of course… those trucks are loud).

The legend: Grave Digger.
The legend: Grave Digger.

Okay, so here’s how the rally works. Something like 16 trucks (which cost hundreds of thousands of dollars… who knows, probably millions) compete in two different events: racing and freestyle. Racing is fairly straightforward: Two trucks start on opposite sides of a track and race around a few times, hitting a few moguls along the way. Sounds kind of easy, but they regularly roll or flip or hit a parked truck in the process. It’s great.

The freestyle competition allows trucks to show off their moves on the open floor. This is when you see stuff like donuts, burnouts, flips, and majjjjj jumps. Oh, and they also like to do things like crush RVs:

This recreational vehicle needs to be crushed.
This recreational vehicle needs to be crushed.

It’s ridiculously loud. It’s destructive. It’s exhaust-y. It’s wasteful. It’s everything I love and hate about America in one fabulous, thunderous package. Going to a monster truck rally might not seem like a great time to you, but listen… you just watch that video up top and tell me that doesn’t at least look like a little fun. Though definitely outside my comfort zone, I thought it was an absolute blast.

So riddle me this: How do I get someone to let me ride with them in a monster truck? If anyone can hook a sister up, I will love you forever.

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