I look like I’ve been doing this my whole life. Not true.

One time at my cabin, my third

cousin once removed sliced open his leg with a chainsaw. He was maybe 18

at the time, which of course at the time made him a chainsaw expert in

his mind… but not so much in practice. Plus, I am 99 percent positive

he was a little buzzed (pardon the pun), something I think 9 out of 10

lumberjacks strongly disapprove of. The story does have a happy ending:

He duct taped the gash, hitched a ride to nearby-ish Crosby, MN, got

stitched up and proceeded to party the night away.

As

if I even needed to witness an experience like this to fear chainsaws.

But alas, I did, which made using one myself even more daunting. When my

boyf’s aunt Barb offered to be my chainsaw guru, I couldn’t pass up the

opportunity. How often do you find someone to lend you their (baby)

chainsaw, Kevlar chaps, work boot and face mask? Not often, unless you

live in a horror movie.

It

was indeed scary, but kind of anti-climactic.  I should probably

mention that you should not do this unless you have your own Barb

helping out. And for the love, save the Jagermeister for later.

This

is the first video I’ve ever made, so please be kind. Editing this

effer was almost as challenging as sawing a log in half, which is why

I’m counting it as item #3. I realize we should have held my camera the other direction… oh well, next time! Thanks to Andy Mogren for creating that kick

ass intro, and thanks to Barb for helping me not die.