Ridiculous Qs: He has the best voice, ever. But would you want it for yourself?

I somehow found myself watching basketball last weekend. (I barely even know what March Madness is. However, I do know I want the Badgers to win.) And with sports come commercials. And with commercials come insurance commercials. And with insurance commercials come Dennis Haysbert.

You know who I’m talking about.

The All State guy with the magical voice. 

Anyhow, Haysbert might be tied withe James Earl Jones for the best voice, ever… which got me thinking about this week’s ridiculous question.

A nasty warlock captures you, threatening to hold you captive for the rest of your life . He’ll only let you go under one condition: you change your voice forever.

If you are a woman, you will sound exactly like Dennis Haysbert until the day your die. If you are a man, you will sound exactly like Sarah Palin.

There’s a catch: you forgo the voice change if you pass it along to your significant other. So your boyfriend/husband would sound like Sarah Palin or your girlfriend/wife would sound like Dennis Haysbert. If you are in a same-sex relationship, your partner would get the voice that wasn’t offered to you (so your female partner gets Sarah Palin; your male partner is the AllState Guy).

This warlock is a real jerk, so you definitely want to get out of there! Which voice option do you choose?

So… could you handle sounding like Dennis Haysbert as a woman? Could you still love a man that sounded like Sarah Palin? And what’s worse– a lady sounding like a sexy baritone voiceover actor or a guy sounding like Sarah Palin?

AND PS I am already wishing I’d made the female voice Kathleen Turner, because I feel like that is a little more equal and less annoying than Sarah Palin, dang it!

* * *

Remember, these are insane, hypothetical questions intended to basically break your brain (in a good way! Kinda.). Please share you answer in the comments. PS Here are previous Ridiculous Qs. Have your own ridiculous question? Email it to heyeleanorproject@gmail.com.

Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates.

I completely respect your privacy.

You might also like

Comments (4)

  • Kathy S 3 years ago Reply

    I would totes change my voice to Dennis Haysbert’s! I’ve never been particularly attached to my voice (I tend to cringe when I hear recorded versions of it) and I enjoy subverting the dominant paradigm.

    molly mogren katt 3 years ago Reply

    Everyone cringes when they hear their own voice. In fact, I wonder if Dennis Haysbert does? I want to ask him!

    Think of how much money you could make if your voice sounded like that!

  • Harmony 3 years ago Reply

    Have you been watching Backstrom? He is on the show and I spend the whole time thinking about switching my insurance company.

    molly mogren katt 3 years ago Reply

    haha, I get how that would happen! He’s also 60 years old, which makes me want to switch to whatever he’s eating/drinking/slathering himself with to make him look so dang good!

Leave a Reply