I love the Minnesota State Fair. It has a lot less to do with the food than it does with the people watching (top-notch!) and the rides. Oh-man-oh-man-oh-man I love the rides, especially the spinny ones like the Tilt-a-Whirl. If you ever want to see me laugh so hard that I can’t breathe, take me on the Tilt-a-Whirl (or give me some special brownies and let’s watch this scene from Bad Grandpa). Couldn’t wait to hit the Midway.
However, things this year were a little different. I got extra scrambled on the Scrambler. The tiny roller coaster? I walked away with an annoying kink in my neck.
And then we rode the Skyflyer.
You’ve seen them at every major carnival: those swings that tower above the midway’s twinkling lights, spinning fast enough to get the centrifugal force’s full effect. Looks kinda fun, right? I hadn’t been on one of those swings in years. I hopped on with a few of my coworkers (we do our annual holiday party at the fair. Yes, in August, Yes, we know it’s weird).
As we ascended, the anxiety set in.
Why am I trusting this guy with 10 teeth (literally) with my life? Why are we going so high? Wait… what are we going so fast?! Holyshitholyshitholyshit! [Screams!]
After what felt like 42 seconds, we started slowly returning to earth. I thought to myself, “42 seconds? What a rip!” When my feet finally hit the ground, I was also kind of happy it was over. I was really dizzy and sick to my stomach. Maybe it was the fried pickles… and scotch egg… and chicken in a waffle… and fried corn fritter. But I think it was mostly the height anxiety (on a stick).
Has anyone else felt like they are way more sensitive to rides as they get older? I don’t get carsick or seasick (proof: this story from that one time I went to a bachelor party). Maybe it was the heights. I don’t know, but I really hope it was a flukey-fluke.
I wasn’t anticipating a ride at the State Fair to add to the Hey Eleanor count, but Skyflyer, you’ve bested me. See you next year, beyotch.